Boy, this week-long break in the Jazz schedule couldn’t have come at a better time for me. With the Torino Olympics on, my TV watching capabilites have been stretched to the limit, what with all the reality shows that I subscribe to (I think of it as a subscription, because once you start, you’re kind of locked into it). Let’s just say that the list is too long to list and too embarrasing to admit to. Perhaps I’ll delve into it another day.
Anyway, this break is good for me, and it certainly seems to be good for the Jazz. Those last two games were pretty ugly; I think I heard one of them humming “Leaving On A Jet Plane” during the Laker game. And while they only lost by six, it was a terrible game all around. Of course, I was just glad to follow the game online and not see Kobe with 75 points through three quarters.
So, with apologies to David Letterman, here are the top ten reasons that the Jazz are happy for the All-Star break:
#10: Deron Williams and Robert Whaley will have time to come up with better fake names for the next time they’re in a bar fight.
#9: Frees up Harpring to be home with his wife and newborn, thereby allowing him to take his turn at 3:00 a.m. diaper changes / feedings. Being the father of a six-month old, I can PROMISE that this will improve his home life…
#8: Allows Memo more time at home with his new wife. If you don’t believe that this is a good thing, please click here.
#7: Players get more time to prepare their speeches for the Karl Malone jersey retirement night.
#6: Deron Williams can participate in the Rookie / Sophomore challenge, misconnect on three alley-oops, hot dog, and shoot whenever he gets at least one hand on the ball, hopefully getting it ALL out of his system when he comes back to “Jerryball”.
#5: Will give him more time to ice his wrist from shooting 45 times per game (Sorry, that’s one of the top ten reasons KOBE BRYANT is happy about the All-Star break)
#4: C.J. Miles can go home and mark off another 7 days from his “Countdown to legal drinking” calendar.
#3: Robert Whaley will have the time to come up with a new nickname, so Hot Rod will stop calling him “The Big Whale” on the radio.
#2: Kirilenko will have more time to go to local grocery stores, thereby increasing the chances of running into me, setting off another streak of fantastic games, similar to what happened in December.
and the #1 reason that the Jazz are happy about the All-Star break…
…Sloan and Ostertag will finally get to play golf together.